How Long Do We Carry Our Stories?

 

Stories are thoughts we believe to be true. When looked at closely, stories are merely the product of egoic mind chatter. When we believe (identify with) this egoic mind chatter, we are subject to the endless flow of the mind’s creative narration. The more a story touches deep egoic cords, the more likely we are to carry that story for extended periods of time, suffering the continued belief in delusion. If we stop . . . rest as Stillness . . . and simply look, most of us can see stories we have innocently/unknowingly held on to for years, sometimes decades, allowing them to continuously sow discord and suffering in our life and the lives of those we touch.

Awakening as Awareness does not mean the stories end. Awakening removes the winds from the sails of egoic stories, so they are immediately and quickly seen through. This can happen suddenly or seem to evolve over a period of time.

We frequently encourage everyone to view the recognition of being caught in a story as Grace. This recognition highlights the apparent choice to remain caught in the story or to rest as Isness. As Isness, stories arise and fall effortlessly without judgment or analysis and are merely a part of an ostensible human experience. There is an old Zen saying, “Let thoughts come and go, never serve them tea.”  When we no longer feed these stories with our attention and belief, we collapse back into recognition as our natural state, Isness.

There is another Zen story of a master walking with his students when they come upon a young woman attempting to cross a muddy stream. To the shock of his students, the master lifts the woman and carries her to the other side where he sets her back down. The master and his students continue on their way. When they reach their destination, however, the students are still agitated, discussing the master’s actions. Finally, one of the students challenged the master, asking how he could carry the woman on his shoulders since monks are not permitted to touch a woman. The master replied, “I set the woman down on the other side of the stream. Why are you still carrying her?”

At times, we all get caught up in stories, giving them our attention and belief. We would suggest, again, when we notice this to be grateful and to take the apparent opportunity to fall back into recognition as our natural Isness. With vigilance, we do not need to carry our stories or pick up new stories. From Wholeness, as Wholeness, the apparent arising and falling of stories are simply experiences in the ever-changing dynamic of Life.

In Peace, Steve and Bec

 

The Practice Of Enquiry

A friend of Mauna Sangha from India recently posed questions about his experiences during enquiry we feel many in the sangha can appreciate. With his kind permission, we share them.

Q: Can you tell me the difference between the enquiry “Who am I,” and abiding as the thought-feeling “I Am?” Is the latter the real thing, and the first just an aid to get to the latter, especially when there are thoughts? What to do when the enquiry seems to be taking place merely verbally, in thinking. Thank you.

A: The enquiry “Who am I?” or “What am I?” (we prefer ‘what’) is meant to enliven the recognition as Awareness. The thought-feeling “I Am” is pleasant and may even be a sense as Presence. It is certainly preferable to identification with daily thoughts, emotions, etc. However, the thought-feeling “I Am” is still seen by Awareness. This is where St. Francis’ quote may be a bit misleading. What we are is prior even to the thought-feeling “I Am.” Notice what sees even “I Am.”

To expound further: The direct experience of the thought-feeling “I Am” that arises after the enquiry “Who or What am I?” is the perfume, the movement from, and of, what we are. Even Awareness arises from what we are. When you enquire, enquire from within (from heart), not from mind/thinking, and notice the direct experience before thinking engages. From this felt experience, notice the flow, the movement of the apparent arising of Awareness. Awareness, the sense of Nothing/Everything, all arises from what we are. We are prior to all experiences, thoughts, feelings, and yet thoughts and feelings continue to happen in this arising, as we experience ourselves uniquely in the human expression, free from identifying with any arising concepts, merely seeing the concepts, thinking, emotions, etc., as This experiencing through the physiological being. In the movement of this Suchness, STOP. Notice what the Suchness arises from. Stay There/Here, marinate There/Here, be informed from There/Here. There is no doing. All living arises easily with no effort from a someone.

Thank you for opening yourself to the movement towards letting go into what we are, always have been, and always will be. This question beautifully represents where we all find ourselves on the pathless path as we completely open ourselves to the Primordial Ground Of Being, and abide as, in, and with This.

Q: Ramana Maharshi said the “Who” of “Who Am I” is ego, and what does this enquiry is also the ego. The question then comes why the ego would indulge in something that is going to destroy itself. Is the ego, am I, playing a cunning subtle game of self-preservation on the pretext of doing enquiry, practicing the path of non-duality? That’s why I feel that all “doing” is a tricky affair. You said there can be no doing, but to enquire “Who or What am I” takes effort, and at least to me seems to involve “doing” on some level. There seems to be involved subtly a motive behind my enquiry, and what better way for the ego to preserve itself than through its motives, even the enquiry to find out what its real nature is. And of course, seeing this, I say, let’s do away with these motives, which becomes an even subtler motive. The problem is clearly “I” and every effort of this “I” to fix these problems only worsens it. There seems to be an endless rising of “I, I, I . . .”

A: The question may or may not spring from ego. Ego is nothing more than a string of thoughts forming an illusory someone having the experience of “I.” Having awareness of the “I” experience is not the problem, identifying with the “I” experience as what we are is the delusion. Truth is not the “Who” or even the “What.” Truth is pluripotent Silence present before, during, and after the question, but is often most easily initially noticed in the gap after positing a question such as “What am I?”.  Truth is not bothered by questions of ego, effort, motive, etc. Truth is the substanceless substance of Life. Truth is beyond all these apparent mind games, and yet, is present as them also. Trying to understand this on the level of mind/ego won’t work. Mind can never know Truth, because Truth creates mind/ego. If we are looking to our mind to “figure it all out,” we may be looking for eternity. Truth recognizes Truth as Grace. Truth is eternal. Truth is all there is. Truth does not need our effort, our doing. Adyashanti suggests noticing what is “always and already.”

People have said awakening is an accident brought about by Grace, and things like meditation and self-enquiry make one more accident prone. Perhaps this is true. Papaji was asked how long to remain vigilant after awakening and he said, “Until your dying breath.”

We encourage being less concerned with motive, effort, doing, etc., and with an open, quiet heart notice the love-filled response of Truth as Truth to the enquiry “What am I?”. The immediate gap in thinking exposes pluripotent Silence (Mauna) after a sincere enquiry.

Namaste, Bec and Steve

 

Svāhā

 

When I look inside and see that I am nothing, that is wisdom.
When I look outside and see that I am everything, that is love.
And between these two, my life turns. ~ Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

 

We have frequently looked at this observation at Satsang as the direct experience as Truth. Recently, however, it became clear some of us were misinterpreting the component, ”And between these two, my life turns.”

We have created boundaries where there are none. We have looked at the experience as nothing and the experience as everything as though they are separate experiences. Further, we have considered wisdom and love from the perspective as duality.

Truth, as Nisargadatta is sharing, is not swinging from one truth to another. The experience is simultaneously fully nothing/everything/wisdom/love beyond boundaries. Words place artificial limits where none actually exist. Beyond all concepts is the apparent manifesting and collapsing of opposites eternally in union.

The only way to fully understand Nisargadatta’s statement is to embody his words as your own clear expression as Truth.

Enjoy, Steve and Bec

With A Spacious Heart

 

Adyashanti shared a pointer years ago that has repeatedly enhanced our rapid embodiment of Truth. When we read the writings of masters, we take to heart Adya’s advice to ask with a spacious heart what would our experience as Truth be for these words we are reading to be our words.

This approach has become our spontaneous approach through the years. Following this pointer, the words of many masters have come to life. The Bible has, at times, felt less inspired than talks, writings, and art by other masters.

Recently, one of our sangha members gave us a set of CDs with talks by Reverend Patricia Fresen, a Roman Catholic Priest. Mother Fresen points out the original language of Christ was Aramaic, but the traditional English translations have all come through Greek interpretations. She pointed us to the writings of Neil Douglas Klotz. Mr. Klotz is a scholar who has gone back to the original Aramaic scrolls, Peshitta, for inspiration and interpretation.

The words of Christ as conveyed in interpretations and transliterations from Aramaic bring Life to Christ’s words. This Life is often suppressed in the Aramaic to Greek to Italian to English translations we typically encounter.

The Lord’s Prayer carries a much different flavor and energy when translated from Aramaic.

Below is our attempt to bring the energy and meaning of the Aramaic words reportedly uttered by Christ as The Lord’s Prayer to English.

 

The Lord’s Prayer

Mother/Father whose vibrations go out into all that is, make us a resonating space for Your vibrations as Silence.

Unite our will as Your will, create Your reign in unity now.

Let Your love unite all that is through harmony.

Grant us daily growth through wisdom and sustenance.

Transmute our frustrated hopes and dreams, embracing us as Emptiness as we embrace others as Emptiness.

Deceived neither by the outer nor the inner, free us to walk Your path as Joy.

From You flows spirit and vitality, producing and sustaining all life, every virtue, and glorious harmony, moment to moment.

Truly, glory to these statements. May they be the ground from which all our actions grow, breathed in Peace and Love.

Namaste, Bec and Steve

Love Silence

 

Love Silence is a simple pointer to Truth. We live our life noticing the noise, noticing what changes. Silence is the eternal essence of Life. Simply notice the unchanging. When we only notice the noise and the continuous movement of change, it is merely because we are not stopping to look deeply enough. Once we notice Silence prior to noise, we experience Silence that pervades the noise. Finally, we notice we are not separate from Silence. Silence is existentially what “everything” is. This is the recognition as Mauna.

Love, Steve and Bec

Thy Will Be Done

 

It has been suggested one of the highest prayers is ‘Thy will be done.’ This pointer has value on many levels.

On one hand, it is a desire to let go of a personal (ego-driven) will, and in that sense, is a lofty goal. The effort to live by ‘thy will’ encourages us to live by our highest ideals.

As long as we see a separation between what we are and God, or what we are and others, we will think in terms of a my will being in service to another, rather than one movement to benefit all aspects of expression, including ourselves. However, this drive to live by ‘thy will’ is crucial fuel to our search for Truth.

As we open to recognition as primordial Awareness, we see the unity of life as This. Recognition brings resolution to the quest to live as ‘thy will.’ The perception of Life is now experienced as a movement in service to all expressions of Universal biota. Life is now lived in harmonious union, as ‘my will’ and ‘thy will’ are experienced as two sides of the same coin. The concepts of ‘a will’ and of ‘doing’ drop away, leaving only Now.

Paradoxically, ‘Thy will be done’ remains one of the highest prayers.

Hallelujah, Bec and Steve

Beyond Bliss

Of late, there have been several conversations around the experience of bliss during meditation and satsang—both the bliss of nothing and the bliss of everything. In those moments, we feel we’ve finally ‘arrived,’ only to have the experience pass. Overlooking the unchanging Consciousness eternally present in both our experiences of nothing and everything, we try to regain that state of bliss. Instead of stopping to notice what sees the coming and going of the bliss, we embark on more doing: yoga, diet, meditation, bhajans, mindfulness, prayers, retreats, etc., hoping to tap into the bliss once more.

If the experience—the state of being—comes and goes, it is not us. We are not a state of being. We do not come and go. We are neither the bliss of everything nor the bliss of nothing. We are prior to all manifestations. We are This from which all life flows, in all Its states of expression, in every experience, good or bad.

Adyashanti in his book, The End of Your World, talks about being “drunk on emptiness,” when we mistake the nothingness for Truth, failing to also recognize the everythingness of Truth. Nothingness is the recognition as the first half of Nisargadatta Maharaj’s statement, “When I look inside and see that I am nothing that is wisdom.” If only emptiness is recognized, then Truth is not fully seen.

It is essential to follow through with the second half of Nisargadatta’s statement, “When I look outside and see that I am everything, that is love. Between these two, my life turns.” It is the eternal recognition as nothingness and everythingness simultaneously that characterizes awakening as Truth. Each facet of Truth is the whole. To paraphrase a statement by Adyashanti, “Nothing being and becoming everything while remaining nothing.”

The concepts of everythingness and nothingness are still limits mind grabs onto in its effort to understand what is beyond concepts. Yet, mind can never know Truth, as Truth is mind’s Creator.

When we find ourselves looking to recreate an experience, stop. Notice what sees the movement of seeking, notice from where the doing arises. Be This, move from This, experience from This.

In the search for Truth, it is often more productive to notice what is looking for Truth than to try to intellectually understand Truth.

A young sangha member, Paige Kies, recently expressed this recognition in a poem that she gave us permission to share:

The Ultimate Truth

I believe I was once

a patch of flowers alongside the road

I cannot recall my velvety head

but I do remember such forgetfulness of mine

brought forth laughter and smiles to us all

 

Perhaps I was a morning glory

Always the most beautiful sight

to observe at the beginning of our days

And my arms would have reached out to all

So my simple beauty could enhance

the wonderful radiance of all others

No- that isn’t quite right

 

Or how about a rose?

Those prickly thorns

Which sting and bite

Most certainly bring forth the nickname Scorpion grass

Ah but the petals….

They are too delicate to be the likes of me

For a single drop of poisonous sebum

creates a blackness—

marring such beauty

 

Then maybe I had been a Daisy

This I’m sure is a possibility

Orbiting petals focusing

On a centered sun full with the nectar of Life

However, this again

Seems not to be truth

For compared to the sun

I am a speck of dust

 

 

Yet, it seems to be

That I am truly the cosmos—

For matter is neither created

Nor destroyed

So a speck of dust

Is as frighteningly powerful

As the most predatory lifeforms

Which again…

I might have been

 

Yersinia pestis

Bdellovibrio

Dionaea muscipula

Periplaneta americana

Pterois

Naja

Otariinae

Panthera uncia

Orcinus orca

They all seem a suitable match

For a one who was once called me

 

Oh what does it matter

What I once was?

For all that has been

It is my present

That seems to matter most

If I were some flower

Or even a speck of dust

I shall, one day, return to those forms

But my futures….

They cannot stop what I am at this very moment

 

In an immediate sense I am Nothing

And being so said

I connect everything

If only I forget

Forget to have a presence of mind

And instead

Allow the presence of Everything

Unite with me as Nothing

 

For when this happens

I remember the word Myosotis

That’s what I was—

Once

But then again, there are so many others

That I embodied

Or will become

 

Such peace

Such tranquility do I find

From being Nothing

And being Everything…

From being One

And being All

 

Namaste, Steve and Bec

Pointers

“Teachings are like fingers pointing to the moon, so don’t mistake the finger for the moon itself.” This statement and similar versions are common in meditation and Self-realization books.

This pointer is very useful to remind us of the value of pointers. We often take pointers, which have been effective for us, and consciously or subconsciously raise them to the level of Truth. As we have pointed out in previous posts, the value of a pointer is to produce a pause, a gap in the constant flow of thoughts, so the underlying Consciousness may become apparent. It is like watching a movie and suddenly the scenes stop, resulting in recognition of the unchanging screen that is always there but went unnoticed while the scenes were shown.

Even the word pointer is somewhat of a misnomer. Pointing implies a duality. One thing pointing at another thing. Consciousness is singular, prior to concepts, including even the concept of Consciousness. Ultimately, as we have heard both Adyashanti and Mooji point out, the finger, moon, and concepts are seen by Consciousness as Consciousness. There is only Consciousness. Do not mistake the finger, the moon, or any concept as Truth. As Rumi described, “…knocking on a door. It opens. I’ve been knocking
from the inside.”

Turn the concept of pointers around and notice the Awareness, the Consciousness from which pointers arise. The source of pointers is Consciousness. Pointers are pointing from within. What is being pointed to is Consciousness appearing as an object. It is as equally illuminating to look to the source of a pointer, as it is to contemplate to what is being pointed. The gateless gate has no inside or outside, beginning, or end.

Sit, drop all concepts, all pointers, all searching. When we drop everything we are not, we are left with what we cannot drop. Notice we are existentially what has always been and be free.

Namaste, Bec and Steve

Out Of The Mouths Of Babes

Recently, we came across a first grader’s answer to the following riddle: I am the beginning of everything, the end of everywhere. I’m the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space. What am I?

The teacher was looking for the letter ‘e.’ This is a clever answer within the limits of the English language. The answer given by the 6-year-old, however, transcended the limits of language. The answer offered was ‘nothinging.’ This answer adds more space and universality than the one sought by the teacher.

What is Nothinging? Nothinging is Eternal manifesting as Now, spontaneously without volition. As Adyashanti so beautifully stated, “Nothing becoming something while remaining nothing.”

Our encouragement is to stop, sit with an open mind, and appreciate the child’s wisdom recognizing Nothinging, directly experiencing Nothinging as existentially beyond all concepts.

What sees all concepts, including Nothinging? Again, stop, open to the sensation of what is naturally unfolding beyond all concepts. Rest as This.

Matthew 18:2-4: He called a little child to him and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”

Matthew 21:16: “Do you hear what these children are saying?” they asked him. “Yes,” replied Jesus, “have you never read, “’From the lips of children and infants you, Lord, have called forth your praise’?”

Siddhartha Gautama Buddha: “The heart of a child is like that of Buddha (awakened one/enlightened one).”

Enjoy, Steve and Bec

Surrender

 

What does it mean to surrender? We hear lots of talk about surrender and the need to surrender our personal will to experience Divine or Universal Will. How, then, do we surrender our personal will? Does the very act of surrender not involve an act of your personal will, the exact thing we are trying to let go of? Does the decision to surrender strengthen the sense of a ‘doer’? Does the act of surrendering mean we have free will? How complicated things become once we let the mind usurp spontaneity.

“Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” (Matthew 6:21). Ultimately, this is how surrendering occurs. As long as we treasure our sense of individuality greater than the recognition as Unity, we cannot surrender—we may pretend to try. Surrender is the felt spontaneous flow of the heart to what is treasured. The humble recognition of Divine’s benediction.

We can, however, open our mind and heart to the possibility of surrender. This opening of our mind and heart makes space for Divine Will. In this way, we make space for the flow of Sacred, allowing Sacred to flow through us.

When we sit with an open heart and ask, What am I?, we open the door, allowing Life to consciously connect us with the universal ‘I.’

This is beautifully related in the text, “Thunder, Perfect Mind,” describing Hokhmah (Wisdom in Hebrew): “I am the silence not grasped by the mind, the image you can’t forget. I am the voice of every natural sound, the word that always reappears. I am the intonation of my name.”

We are the ocean believing ourselves to be existentially the wave. The recognition we are the ocean does not destroy the wave, it removes our misconception that we are fundamentally separate from all the other waves and manifestations of the ocean. We are surrendering our ignorance for recognition of what we have always been.

As Eckhart Tolle so eloquently said, “You are the sky, the clouds are what happens, what comes and goes.”

The Gospel of Thomas quotes Christ, “For where the beginning is, there shall the end be also. Blessed is one who shall stand at the beginning, and they shall know the end.” (Saying 18)

Making space for truth is surrendering the grip of identification as separate from Life. The recognition as Unity is the recognition as Eternity.

Hokhmah, Bec and Steve